please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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