coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
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I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Bring me that man meat
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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