Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
