I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
