I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
