either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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