Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
