that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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