I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
