she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
