Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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