I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
