and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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