she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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