Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
