why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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