Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Ketchup is God's man juice
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize