I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
