Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
