You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
