Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
