Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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