i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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