you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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