i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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