I am puke
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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