We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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