im holly from the hills drunk
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
