Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
