So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
