I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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