that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
