I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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