Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
