why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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