There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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