so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just want nice things and good sex
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
