It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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