a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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