a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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