It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize