Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
