If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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