its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You pole danced in your parka.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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