Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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