I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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