So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
