I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
