fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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