wakey wakey hands off snakey
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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