never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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