Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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