We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
