we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
