its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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