Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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