Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
