saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize
