(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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