Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
