He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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