I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
