i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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