It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
