if you like me you must not know who I am
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
