New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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