Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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